


Shatter

by jennandanica



Series: Beg, Bend and Break [10]
Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-16
Updated: 2009-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:44:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean's gone. What happens now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shatter

For a while, everything is fine. Not perfect. Couldn't possibly be perfect in the absence of Sean. But fine. And with Karl and Orli having retreated into their mutual obsession, Viggo and Elijah think that they have finally succeeded in leaving the darkness behind them.

***

Until the night where they are fooling around, Viggo with four fingers deep inside Elijah, the ghosts of words Sean once spoke flitting across his mind

_Speaking of hands and Elijah_

_of hands and Elijah_

_hands and Elijah_

when Elijah spreads his legs even wider and says

"You can if you want to"

and Viggo feels those words sear his skin, feels something catch flame in the pit of his stomach, beginning to burn strong once again. Something he thought he'd extinguished for good.

He pulls out and away, grabbing his robe from the chair by the bed. Wants only to put as much distance between him and Elijah as he can right now. Flees to the kitchen where he sits at the table, his face buried in his hands.

But Elijah follows him. Kneels at his feet. Pulls his hands from his face and says

"Oh, God, Viggo. I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't mean to. I thought you wanted to. I won't do it again."

Viggo stares at him, his hands shaking in Elijah's grasp and he sees

-oh-

the dawning comprehension, the sudden understanding reflected in Elijah's eyes.

Sees Elijah close his eyes, steeling himself. Watches as he opens them again and says

"Wanting to do it. Even doing it doesn't make you Karl. It's okay. I want you to do it. Come with me."

And Viggo lets Elijah pull him back down the hallway to the bedroom. Takes a seat on the bed and watches as Elijah goes to the washroom, returning with the jar of vaseline.

Elijah stands in front of Viggo, puts his hand under his chin and leaning down, kisses him deeply. Crawls back onto the bed, face-down against the sweaty tangled sheets and spreads his legs wide, waiting. Viggo glances sideways at Elijah, spread open beside him, feels his throat clenching. His cock, which has been twitching since Elijah first said "you can if you want to," instantly hard.

And he knows he's going to do this. Knows that it's wrong, so very wrong. But he wants it. Elijah wants it. And that should make it okay. He thinks he needs to shut his brain down, too violently aroused for any rational thought. Wants to stop analyzing and just give into it.

So he does.

He opens the jar of vaseline, slicks his fingers and pushes two into the puckered entrance to Elijah's body. Moves them around, stretching wide. And Elijah is moaning. Adds a third, stretching even wider. Removes his fingers, slicking his whole hand with vaseline and shoves all four inside him. And Elijah groans, his body clenching around Viggo's fingers.

And Viggo is suddenly terrified. He can't figure out how this is going to work. He wants to do it so badly that he is literally aching. But he has no idea what he is doing and he doesn't want to hurt Elijah. Remembers that Karl did this. Reminds himself that it's already been done.

And Elijah's waiting, his body humming, the anticipation sizzling along his nerves like electric current.

"Ready?" he asks.

Elijah nods, his pulse keeping rapid time in the hollow of his throat.

Viggo tucks his thumb against his palm, curling his hand. And pushes. Gently but firmly. And Elijah's body opens. Takes his hand past the knuckles to the thumb.

Viggo swallows, his mouth so dry he can barely speak.

"Okay?" he asks.

Elijah nods, whimpering quietly. Viggo rubs Elijah's lower back with his other hand. Pushes slowly in with the first. He's inside Elijah to the wrist. And he's hard as hell. Feels like he might shatter. Stops. Pauses. Tries to breathe.

"More," Elijah says, spreading his legs so wide it seems unnatural.

Viggo moves his hand around inside Elijah. And Elijah groans, his body shuddering. Viggo pushes his hand still farther until he's forearm deep inside Elijah and he's not sure how far he's supposed to go. Watches Elijah, trying to gauge if he's in distress.

Elijah's eyes are closed, his mouth open in a wide -oh- and his hands are fluttering open and closed. So he pushes slightly farther, pushes until Elijah opens his eyes wide and says

"stop" in a slightly panicked voice before gently rocking against Viggo's arm. Trembling. Mouth opening and closing. Rotates his hips slightly and cries out

Viggo oh god oh oh god

and comes, hard, spurting against the sheets beneath him. And Viggo comes too. Without being touched. Just loses it at the sight of his arm buried deep inside Elijah, at the sight of the boy keening and shuddering against him.

***

Viggo holds Elijah through the night. Clings to him. Feels sickened by what he's done. And yet excited, his arousal having left a strange metallic tang in the back of his throat. But he kisses the nape of Elijah's neck, whispering that he will never do this again, that nothing could make him do this ever again.

***

Four nights later, Elijah brings the jar of vaseline to the bedside table.

Again, Viggo holds Elijah through the night. But this time he makes no promises.

***

Everyone is bitching and moaning. It's been a long hard day and they are all exhausted. Everyone has congregated in Viggo and Orli's trailer, frantically making plans for what's left of the evening.

Orli's removing his costume, proving once again that he has absolutely no modesty. Simply pulls his leggings off and stands there with his tunic barely covering his ass as he rummages around on the chair for his jeans. And Viggo finds his eyes drawn to the fresh welts on his legs and his thighs, trailing up underneath the tunic. Feels his own jeans tighten uncomfortably. Glances around, hoping no one has noticed. Finds Elijah staring at him from across the room. Viggo stares back. And Elijah lowers his eyes.

***

That night Elijah brings him a belt from his closet. Kneels before him on the floor and says

"Do it. I want you to."

and Viggo shakes his head. Can't bring himself to speak.

"Please," Elijah says, blue eyes beseeching.

And Viggo takes the belt. Wordlessly. Takes it from Elijah's hands. Feeling the weight in his own. Trembling. Reminding himself how wrong this is but knowing it feels altogether too right.

Elijah slowly removes his clothes, placing them in a pile on the chair by the side of the bed. He is already hard with anticipation. And somehow that makes it seem even more right.

Comes to Viggo, pulling him up by his arms. Unbuttoning his shirt, unzipping his pants. Tossing Viggo's clothes onto the chair.

He lies face-down on the bed. Waiting.

And Viggo lifts the belt. Brings his arm back and smacks the leather down across Elijah's ass. It's a feeble stroke, lacking in conviction. He's frightened. Both of hurting Elijah and of wanting to hurt Elijah.

But Elijah turns his head, eyes blazing, taunting

"Come on, old man. Do it harder."

So Viggo does. This stroke leaving a slightly puffed welt across Elijah's skin.

"Harder."

And the belt hisses through the air and there's a sharp smack as it hits the flesh this time. And Elijah, unprepared, cries out, jolts, quickly stilling himself. Whispers

"I'm sorry. Do it again. Please."

And again, there's the soft hiss followed by the louder smack. Followed by Elijah's moan.

And again and again and again. And Viggo's putting all his strength behind the blows. Mesmerised by the blood welling to the surface, by the rising of the welts, by Elijah's rhythmic whimpering.

And again and again. Finally drawing blood.

And Viggo stops. Drops the belt to the floor. Climbs onto the bed, touching Elijah's back.

"Oh God, Elijah. Are you okay?"

Elijah turns his head. "Fuck me."

Viggo can only stare. Surely he can't mean it. Can't want it. Not after this. But he does. He can see it in his eyes.

"Fuck me," Elijah says. "Please."

And Viggo reaches for the bedside table. Elijah grabs his wrist.

"Don't."

"But..." Viggo knows what Elijah's asking but he doesn't know if he can do it. Somehow it seems worse than anything else he's done.

"Please."

Viggo pushes away the thoughts, will deal with recriminations later. Gets behind Elijah. Says

"Hands and knees."

And when he's in position, grabs Elijah's hips in his hands, lining up and shoving into him in one single powerful thrust. And Elijah screams. Actually screams. And Viggo pulls back but Elijah quickly grabs his hand, yanking him back against his body. Guides Viggo's hand to his own very hard cock, answering all his concerns with that one simple touch.

***

Elijah's attempting - and failing miserably - to make dinner for them both when the phone rings. Viggo grabs the receiver off the wall.

"Hello," he says.

"Christ, it's good to hear your voice," comes the response.

And it's Sean.

-oh God-

Sean.

"Hey, Sean," Viggo says, watching Elijah's reaction, which is to drop the knife he's been using to chop vegetables, almost stabbing himself in the foot.

"Hey, yourself. How are you guys doing?"

"We're great. And yourself?"

"Pretty good. Spent a week with Lorna and Molly and then another week with Evie. Had a great time. Had to see Abby and Melanie but everyone was on their best behaviour. Made it through."

"And what's next on the agenda?"

"I'm doing some commercial next week but I've got a few days off to relax and just potter around my place before then."

"I wish you were here."

"I wish I was there too," Sean says. "Wish flying didn't scare the hell out of me or I'd make it down even if it was only for a day or two. But I've got great news."

"What's that?"

"I've got a break between the commercial and shooting Equilibrium. They moved the schedule up so I've got two weeks when I can visit."

"That's fantastic," Viggo says, his heart fluttering at the thought of seeing Sean.

"You sure you want me there? I won't be disturbing anything between you and Elijah?" And Viggo knows it's only a joke but his heart stops fluttering, drops into his stomach.

"Very funny," he says. "I want you here /now/."

"Ten days."

"Fine. Ten days."

"Hugs to Elijah," Sean says. "I love you, Viggo."

"I love you, too."

***

Elijah stays at the house while Viggo picks Sean up at the airport. Wraps his arms around him. Touches his face and kisses him, not giving a shit what anyone thinks. He can tell by the way Sean kisses back that he feels the same way. And he's glad.

Sean talks a mile a minute on the way back to his place which Viggo - having given up his own house and moved into Sean's - should really start thinking of as /his/. Tells him all about the girls. About the antics of his ex-wives. The commercial shoot. The upcoming film. And it's usually Viggo who talks Sean's ear off so he's thrilled to listen.

In fact, he thinks, if he wasn't driving, he'd close his eyes and just listen to Sean's voice. Sean's voice, which on its own, is almost enough to make him hard. Has been enough to make him hard, to even make him come, as they have recently discovered during several intense phone calls.

When they reach the house, Viggo grabs Sean's bags from the trunk. Starts to head inside when Sean pulls him back and kisses him, deep and passionate.

"Wait a minute," he says. "I don't mind sharing you with Elijah but I'd like you to myself for a bit."

So Viggo drops the bags and he and Sean make out like teenagers against the side of the car, finally drawing away with great reluctance.

"I think I can convince him to crash at Dom and Billy's for a few nights," Viggo says.

"Good," Sean says, smiling.

***

Viggo makes dinner. Vindaloo curry and basmati rice. Elijah bitches that it's too fucking spicy. Viggo throws a handful of rice at him. Sean just laughs. And the three men fall into the old comfortable patterns of friendship and love. Soon it feels like Sean never left at all.

Squashed together on the sofa after dinner - Elijah in the middle - they end up watching Indian Runner which is Sean's way of getting back at Viggo for Caravaggio.

Elijah keeps crowing "Naked Viggo!" and innocently asks "Are you naked in all your movies?"

"Not all of them," Viggo says, exasperated.

And Sean just laughs.

***

Bedtime is a free-for-all as the three men tear each other's clothes off, throwing them into the corner, laughing and kissing and touching.

And then Sean stops.

Stands there staring.

At Elijah.

At Elijah's body.

At the welts and bruises covering Elijah's body. Older marks overlaid with newer ones. Viggo and Elijah had intended to stop early enough for them to fade but they couldn't.

"What the hell?" Sean says.

He looks from Elijah to Viggo and back again.

"Elijah, what happened? Who did this?" he asks.

And Elijah can't stop his eyes from flickering to Viggo.

"Viggo?" Sean says, scanning his face.

Viggo lowers his head.

"Oh, Christ," Sean says, his voice panicky. "What the hell have you guys been doing?"

And neither Viggo nor Elijah can bring themselves to answer him.

Sean turns, grabs Viggo's robe and throws it at him angrily, saying

"Put it on."

Grabs his own, slipping it over his shoulders and turns to Elijah. "You stay here. I mean it. Put your robe on. Get into bed. Whatever. But I want to talk to Viggo."

And he storms out of the room. Viggo looks at Elijah. Follows Sean.

***

Viggo finds Sean standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, four fingers of scotch in a glass at his mouth.

"What the fuck have you been doing, Viggo?" Sean says, angrier than Viggo's ever seen him.

And Viggo can't bring himself to say anything. Doesn't know how he could have thought things would be any different than this. How had he thought Sean would react when he saw Elijah?

"Seriously, Viggo," Sean says. "I want to know what you have been doing."

Viggo's silent, still thinking, playing out in his mind all the possible answers and Sean's likely responses.

"If you can do it," Sean says harshly. "You should be able to say it."

Fair enough.

"Okay," Viggo says, equally as harsh. "I've beaten him. Both with my hands and my belt. I've pissed on him. I've fucked him raw. And I've fisted him."

Sean blanches at the last. Turns his head away.

"Why?"

"I don't know," he says, softer now. But it's the truth even if it's not what Sean wants to hear. "Because he offered and he wanted it and I found I wanted it too."

Sean covers his face with his hands, rubbing his cheeks and forehead.

"I just don't understand how you could do those things to him."

"He didn't do anything to me I didn't want him to do," Elijah says, standing in the doorway.

"I thought I told you to stay in the bedroom," Sean says.

"And I thought I've told you I'm not a child," Elijah shoots back.

"You can't--"

"I can," Elijah shouts, shrugging his robe from his shoulders. "I /wanted/ this. I asked for it. I begged for it. And Viggo gave it to me. But only because I asked."

In the bright light of the kitchen, the welts and bruises look even worse. Blue black green on pale white flesh. Sean cringes just looking at him.

Sean sits down at the kitchen table, stares at the floor, wishes he was anywhere but here. Can't believe he came all the way for this. He thought Viggo loved him. That they loved each other.

And Elijah is on the floor, kneeling in front of him. "Sean, Viggo loves you. He didn't do this to hurt you. /This/ has no part in your relationship with him. And it doesn't have to have any part in the relationship the three of us have with each other. /This/ is between Viggo and me. If it bothers you that much, I can leave. I can go and stay with Dom and Billy until you go back home. I don't mind. I don't want you angry with Viggo. I don't want to see you upset. I will do whatever you want. Whatever will make things better."

And Sean can't help it. Thinks he should probably just walk away. But he loves Viggo too much. And he also loves Elijah in a way that makes walking away impossible.

"I don't want you to leave," he says finally. "And I think I can be okay with this. But I don't want to see it while I'm here. If the two of you need to do this while I'm here, fine, but I'm going to leave the room or leave the house, whatever. I can't watch you do this to each other."

"Agreed," Elijah says.

Sean looks at Viggo.

"Agreed," Viggo says.

***

Eventually the three men go back to bed but only to sleep. Sleep which finds them falling into the same old patterns of curling around each other, into each other, feeling safe and secure. When they awake, last night seems little more than a horrible nightmare and if it weren't for the physical evidence of what Viggo and Elijah have been doing, Sean could pretend it really was just a dream.

But Sean makes a conscious effort to pretend that nothing is going on and Viggo and Elijah make an even more conscious effort to contain their impulses. And by the night after next the three of them are fucking each other into the ground once more.

***

And everything is fine, stays fine, until another night when the three of them are fooling around, Viggo with four fingers deep inside Elijah when Elijah spreads his legs even wider and Viggo's breath catches audibly.

And Sean looks at him. Looks from Viggo to Elijah and back again. Feels his heart freeze in his chest. Feels it splinter. Makes a decision. Gets up off the bed and grabbing his robe, leaves the room.

***

Sean's in the hallway, leaning back against the wall, wishing Viggo would follow him. Call him back. Do anything. Anything that would tell him that he's more important than this thing he has with Elijah.

He can't believe Viggo and Elijah are on the other side of that door doing what he knows they are doing. Thinks that maybe he should just pack up his things and leave. Thinks that maybe he should just go back in. Thinks that maybe he's far too hard to be as disgusted by this as he would like to believe he is.

***

Sean opens the door. It's only been a few minutes since he left but it seems like forever. And time is moving so slowly. He feels like he's treading through water, fighting to keep his head above the break.

He sees Viggo leaning over Elijah on the bed and he's afraid to step any closer but curiosity and something else, something deep within, dark and unnamed, propels him forward. And he's standing over the bed. Watching. Looking at Viggo with his whole hand inside Elijah's body and he sees Elijah's face, absorbs the look of pure ecstasy on his features.

He notices Viggo looking at him, watches as Viggo directs his gaze to his arm with his eyes, watches as Viggo pushes further and still further, Elijah moaning and whimpering. And Sean's throat is dry, parched beyond belief, and it's nothing that any amount of water could ever cure.

He takes himself in hand. Stroking his cock. Stroking himself in time to Elijah's whimpering. Comes when Elijah comes with the base of Viggo's hand pressed hard against that oh-so-sweet spot. Comes as Viggo comes, jerking himself off onto Elijah's back.

***

Complicit in their silence, the three men spend the next few days pretending nothing has happened. And everything is fine once again. Until the night when Viggo is out late shooting and Sean and Elijah are home alone together.

Until the night when Sean and Elijah have a few too many drinks and Elijah ends up sitting on Sean's lap, wrestling with him and he's teasing Sean, poking fun.

"Just 'cause you're a fucking old geezer," Elijah says

and Sean turns him over his knee, spanks him before he realizes what he's doing. And stops. Notices that Elijah is instantly hard against his leg.

"Do it again, Sean," Elijah says, biting his bottom lip.

And Sean exhales softly. Raises his hand and smacks Elijah hard across the ass. Elijah whimpers. Sean moans. And now they are hard against each other. Elijah stands up, pulls his pajama bottoms off and stretches himself across Sean's lap once more.

"Again, Sean," he says. "Again."

And Sean complies. Slaps him hard. And then harder. Watches in complete and utter fascination, marvels at his handprints on Elijah's ass, stark red on pure white.

Sean continues slapping him. Continues until his right hand is numb and then switches to his left. And Elijah's whimpering, moaning, his cock weeping against Sean's legs. And then Sean stops. Can't continue. Has no strength to continue.

Elijah stands up, pulling Sean up with him. Unfastens Sean's pants, freeing his erection. Walks past Sean and turns around, placing his hands on the armrest of the couch and spreading his legs wide, offering himself to Sean. A sinful invitation Sean simply can't resist. And suddenly the bedroom seems too far. Sean moves behind Elijah, presses close and offers his fingers to Elijah to suck. But Elijah says

"Just do it."

And Sean is confused. Surely he can't mean...

"Take me. Fuck me raw," Elijah demands. "Just do it."

And Sean's throat is clenching, mouth desperately dry again. And he finds himself trembling. But it's all too fucked up to resist. So he does it. Lines himself up and shoves into Elijah with one quick brutal thrust that tears a sharp cry from Elijah's throat. Pounds into his body in a punishing rhythm. Grabs Elijah's cock in his hand and strokes him to the same brutal rhythm. And in seconds they are coming. Sean into Elijah. Elijah into Sean's hand.

And then Elijah is turning, taking Sean's hand, licking it clean of his own come. And then kissing Sean. Kissing him deeply, swirling his own saltiness around Sean's tongue.

***

Viggo finds Sean and Elijah in bed asleep, arms and legs wrapped around each other, when he gets home. He strips off his clothes and joins them, wrapping his arms around Sean and kissing the back of his neck and along his shoulders, whispering "I love you" before falling asleep.

***

Sean is sitting at the table, fully dressed, cup of coffee in his hand, staring out the window at the sunrise when Viggo comes into the kitchen. Viggo goes to kiss him and Sean flinches.

"I can't do this," he says abruptly.

"Can't do what?"

"This. I can't do this. Us."

And Viggo's world shatters.

"Why? Because of Elijah and me?"

"Among other things."

"But that has nothing to do with us," Viggo pleads.

Sean looks at him. "How can you say that? It has everything to do with us."

"No, it doesn't," Viggo says, taking the chair across from Sean. "What happens here, with Elijah, has nothing to do with you and me. When we leave here, it stays behind. What I am doing with Elijah has nothing to do with what I want from you. I will never want those things from you."

"You can't be sure of that," Sean says. "I really think it would be better if I just left."

Viggo takes Sean's hands in his and Sean doesn't fight him.

"I am sure," Viggo says. "I am positive. I don't want you to leave. I can't lose you like this. I love you. More than anyone in my entire life except Henry. You know that. And I swear to God that this is done when we leave here. What happens here stays here."

And Sean is thinking of what he did last night. What he did to Elijah. And he knows he doesn't want that from Viggo. Wanted, still wants it from Elijah but not from Viggo. And maybe Viggo's right and they can do this without it contaminating them.

"Okay. But I'm holding you to your word. It stays here. When we're done here, it's over. Promise me."

"I promise," Viggo says, kissing Sean's hands.

***

Viggo drives Sean to the airport. On the way, they talk upcoming films, family and sports. Safe topics. Safe words.

Elijah told him what Sean and he did that night and Sean knows that Viggo knows but he hasn't told him directly. And they haven't spoken about it for the remainder of Sean's visit or done anything out of the ordinary.

Viggo kisses Sean at the gate. Sean begins walking down the hallway to the plane, turns and comes running back. Grabs Viggo by the back of the neck, leaning his forehead against the other man's.

"Promise me," he says, trembling against him. "Promise me."

"I promise."

***

Sean is back in London. He's busy with filming but he thinks about Viggo constantly. He doesn't understand why Viggo feels this need to explore the dark side. But why would he understand? He's not an artist, not a complicated man. He wants to love and be loved. Simple as that. And he loves in Viggo everything that he himself is not.

That said, he can't explain the things he's done while in New Zealand. Can't explain the night he watched Viggo with his arm inside Elijah. Can't explain the night he laid his hands on Elijah and then took him so roughly. Knows Elijah told Viggo but he and Viggo haven't talked about it. He wonders if Viggo's taken it as a sign that what he's doing is okay. Because it's not.

And he's not sure why either thing happened. Repulsion. Fascination. Curiosity. He wishes he had Viggo's way with words because then maybe he could explain, could understand. It's convenient enough to blame it on the drink but he knows that's not good enough. Would like to blame it on New Zealand like Viggo is doing but that's far too easy as well.

***

And Sean can't stop thinking about Viggo. Can't stop thinking about Elijah. About Viggo's arm deep inside Elijah. Asleep and awake, he's haunted by images. Images which leave him at once aroused and disgusted.

He thinks maybe if he does what Viggo has done, he might understand. Wonders what the hell is wrong with him for even thinking such a thing? Wonders if whatever is wrong with Karl might be catching and they have all been infected? But if that's the case, there must be a cure. Because he certainly can't go on living like this.

***

Viggo phones. He's coming to London. And Sean is thrilled. But he can't help asking

"Is Elijah coming too?"

And there's silence on the other end of the line.

"I'm sure he'd like to come," Viggo answers, carefully. "Do you want him to come?"

Sean swallows his shame. "Yes."

"Okay, then," Viggo says. "We'll see you on Friday."

***

Sean picks Viggo and Elijah up at the airport. He's nervous as hell. He can hardly wait to see Viggo. Can hardly wait to /have/ Elijah.

He takes them back to his apartment and the three men get dressed up for the evening, having promised Elijah they would dine at Rules.

Too late for the business crowd and too early for the theatre-goers, the restaurant is half-empty. Sean orders the roast beef platter for them. It comes with creamed spinach and a Yorkshire pudding the size of a dinner plate. A decanter of brandy is brought to the table and they toast their reunion.

Viggo excuses himself from the table.

And Elijah turns to Sean with an almost evil gleam in his eye.

"So Sean, why did you want me here?" he asks.

And Sean chokes on his drink.

"I just thought it would be nice for the three of us to be here together."

"Bullshit," Elijah says, chuckling. "You want something and I'll be happy to give it to you but I want to hear you say it."

And Sean doesn't know how Elijah knows. Considers continuing to act the rube, pretending ignorance. But decides against it. Fine, they can all play at this game.

He leans over close to Elijah.

"I want to fist you," he growls softly.

And Elijah smiles. Shifts in his seat. Slides a hand over to Sean's lap and begins stroking him. Sean sits back, letting his legs fall apart. Can't believe he's doing this in a public place.

And then Viggo's back.

And Elijah says "Sean and I need to excuse ourselves for a minute."

Viggo's eyes narrow for a moment, his glance falling to Elijah's hand on Sean's crotch and then he smiles. "Go ahead."

Elijah pulls Sean out of the booth and up the stairs to the washroom. Drags him into a stall and closes the door behind them. Unzips Sean's pants, releasing his straining erection. Steps out of the stall, returning with a handful of soap which he quickly spreads on Sean. Pulls his own pants down under his ass. Turns around, spreading himself against the dividing wall.

"Fuck me, Sean," he says. "Fuck me hard. Just like this."

And Sean does.

***

Dinner over, the three men head back to Sean's place and are ripping each other's clothes off before they are even in the front door. And Viggo's about to take Elijah up against the living room wall when Elijah turns his head slightly and whispers something in the older man's ear. Something which makes Viggo look at Sean, his eyes dark and smouldering. And Viggo tells Elijah to go to the bedroom. Comes over to Sean and grabs his head in his hands, kissing him deeply.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Viggo asks, looking deep into his eyes.

Sean nods, fighting to hold his gaze.

"Do you want me there?" Viggo asks. "Do you mind if I watch?"

And Sean can only nod then shake his head.

"Do you have enough lube or some vaseline?"

"I bought vaseline," Sean admits, softly.

"Well, aren't we the boy scout?" Viggo teases. "Now I know why you asked if he was coming. Elijah said something was up but I didn't believe him."

"Shut up," Sean says.

And Viggo laughs.

***

Elijah is naked, belly-down in the middle of the bed, legs slightly spread when Sean and Viggo enter the room. Viggo goes to the far side of the bed. Sean takes the side closest to the door. He gets the vaseline from the bedside table drawer where he placed it in anticipation of this happening.

Viggo takes the jar from him. Puts it on the bed between him and Elijah. Opens the jar and takes Sean's hand, slicking a thick layer over his fingers, hand, wrist and forearm. Spreads Elijah's cheeks for Sean, placing his fingers against his hole. Sean pushes one finger in, gently twisting it and Elijah moans. Quickly adds a second and then a third. Corkscrews them in and out of Elijah, his body clenching around them.

Finds his hands shaking and he's thinking that maybe this is one big mistake. Can't remember why he wanted to do this but then Elijah turns his head, looks back at Sean over his shoulder, spreading his legs even wider and says

"Do it, Sean. I want you to do it."

And Sean looks at Viggo, certain the other man can read the fear in his eyes. Viggo makes a motion with his hand, tucking his thumb against his palm. And Sean does the same with his own hand. Pushes slightly into Elijah. And Elijah moans. Pushes back, Sean's hand sliding in another half inch. And Sean's cock twitches violently. He takes a deep breath. Calming himself down. Pushes further into Elijah. And there's a long slow glide in to the wrist. And Sean's still shaking. Not sure if he should keep going but Viggo nods at him, urging him on. So he pushes in deeper, trying not to move his hand around too much, fearful of hurting Elijah. But Elijah's moaning and pushing back gently, rocking his hips against Sean's hand. Sean suddenly brushes his prostate and Elijah cries out, completely over-sensitized. Says

"Oh god, Sean. Do it now. I'm going to come."

And Sean brushes again. Strokes right across the spot with fingers, presses in with the base of his hand and Elijah's thrusting his hips against Sean's hand, whimpering, shaking wildly, spurting hard against the bed.

And Sean's not sure what to do, is staring down at his hand buried inside Elijah body. Doesn't know whether he's supposed to pull out or what but Viggo takes his arm and gently guides him out. And Elijah grabs the kleenex box from the bedside table, wipes off Sean's arm and the bed covers.

And Sean is turning to Viggo, both of them still hard. "I want you to fuck me."

Viggo turns Sean on his side, straddling his lower leg and pushing Sean's other leg up against his chest. Elijah moves down the bed and takes Sean into his mouth as Viggo quickly opens Sean with two well-lubed fingers and then thrusts into him, deep in to the hilt. And Sean is coming in seconds, Viggo close behind him. And then the three of them are laying on the bed, still shaking, sweaty and covered with semen but smiling.

***

Viggo and Elijah return to New Zealand. Viggo's still a little stunned at the turnabout of events and thinks that he really shouldn't believe that Sean's actions in any way vindicate his own but he does. Needs to believe that they do.

Elijah, for his part, seems to have gotten exactly what he wanted. Viggo can't figure out what's going on the boy's head, only knows that Elijah seems to derive his own power and worth from getting them to do these things to him.

And it's all really too fucked up to contemplate. Easier to simply go along. And count down the days that remain.

***

Viggo and Elijah have said their goodbyes. Elijah's headed home to the States that afternoon, Dom and Billy having arranged to be on the same flight and planning to spend a bit of time visiting with him before deciding where to go next. Orlando's already left for Australia to work on Ned Kelly. And Sean's waiting for Viggo in London with Viggo's flight scheduled for the next afternoon.

Having consumed far too many drinks at last night's wrap party, Viggo's standing in the canteen, talking to Peter, feeling like he's been wrapped in bubble wrap and someone is stomping on his head. He's wondering whether Peter is even aware of how shitty he feels and how little attention he is paying to him when he senses he is being watched, turns his head and

Karl.

Staring at him. Viggo stares back. Karl smiles. Stares at Viggo. And then drops his eyes. On purpose. Flicks them back up and over Viggo then down.

And Viggo knows the offer has been made again. Still stands. Was never taken off the table.

Forces himself to look away. Finish his business with Peter. And when he looks back, Karl is gone. And Viggo is able to breathe once more.

***

Viggo's packing the last of his boxes. Thinks it's amazing how much junk one can accumulate in eighteen months. Decides to take a break and has just laid down on the couch with a glass of iced tea when there's a knock at the door. He's expecting a package from Peter so he reluctantly drags himself off the couch and goes to answer it.

And it's Karl.

Viggo just stares at him, considers slamming the door in his face but doesn't.

"I thought you might want to see me," Karl drawls softly.

And Viggo can't help it. Closes his eyes. Doesn't want to make this decision. Doesn't want to deal with this. Wants Karl to just go away. Be gone when he opens his eyes again. And maybe if he wishes hard enough, it might just happen. He opens his eyes. No such luck.

So he steps back, opens the door wide, letting Karl in.

***

In the bedroom, Karl naked before him, Viggo has second thoughts. And fourth and fifth and tenth thoughts. But it's so much easier to give in to the fire burning in his stomach, to fan the embers with glances up and down Karl's perfect skin and already swollen cock, so much easier to let the flames consume him.

"First things first," Karl says calmly. "If I want you to stop, I'll say freefall."

Viggo gives him a look.

Karl rolls his eyes. "It's Orli's safety so I'm not likely to forget it. Not that I expect to need it. But you know how this works. I say it, you stop."

Viggo nods.

"Good. Okay then."

And Viggo swallows. Just stares at him. Finally admits, "I don't know what to do."

Karl smiles. "Anything. Everything. I offered. Whatever you want."

Viggo continues to stare. Thinks of everything Karl's put them through. Thinks of everything Karl offered. Thinks of everything he wants from Karl. Wants to do to Karl.

And Viggo backhands Karl hard across the face, the blow making the younger man sway. But he takes it. Doesn't even cry out. Wipes the blood from his lip and smiles.

"Well, that's certainly a good start," Karl says, steadying himself.

***

Karl takes everything Viggo dishes out. Absorbs the pain and the pleasure without flinching. Barely makes a sound.

When Viggo falters, Karl urges him on wordlessly, divining every need, acting out his darkest desires. Offers up his body as a canvas for this perverse art.

And Viggo is no fool. He doesn't kid himself. He may be topping Karl but Karl is anything but submissive. Still he tries to break him.

And Karl never speaks a word. Until it is over.

***

Early morning finds Viggo sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window, coffee mug in hand.

Karl approaches the table. He's dressed and he has his jacket in his hand.

"I'm going now," he says.

Viggo nods, unable to look at him.

"Just so you know," he says and Viggo tenses. "If you don't want Sean to know, he won't hear it from me."

And Viggo's stunned.

"Wouldn't want you to say I've never done anything nice for you," Karl says, smiling.

"What about Orlando?"

"What about him?"

"Will you tell him?" Viggo asks.

"Of course. But he wouldn't say anything to Sean either."

"But will he mind?"

"I shouldn't think so," Karl says. "He's known what I wanted all along. Besides, what happened here between us doesn't change a thing about my relationship with him."

Viggo just nods, looking into his coffee cup.

"Viggo, for what it's worth, I think you should leave this behind you," Karl says. "Not that last night wasn't fun. It was absolutely fucking amazing. But I don't think you're cut out for this. It's not you. You need to go home to Sean and leave it behind."

And Viggo's blown away. Can't believe they're having this conversation. Can't believe Karl is giving him advice. On this of all things.

"And what about Orlando and Elijah?"

"What about them?"

"Are they cut out for this?"

Karl laughs.

"Orli was made for this. He chose this - chose me - whether you believe that or not. And he's smart enough to tell me when he's had enough. Not like your friend Elijah. He's another story. Doesn't have enough sense to know when to stop. He'd let you kill him if that's what you wanted."

"And what about you?" Viggo asks.

"Me?" Karl says, chuckling. "I would have thought you knew that by now. I'm just a nasty fucking bastard. Through and through."

***

Sean picks Viggo up at the airport. Sean's got the biggest grin on his face and he hugs Viggo, hanging on like the world is ending. And Viggo feels like it is.

He knows he could get away with what he's done. He believes Karl when he says he wouldn't tell. Whatever else Karl may be, a liar he is not. But Viggo knows he couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell Sean. And he's going to have to take a chance on losing Sean simply to have a chance of being with him.

"We need to talk," he says as soon as he puts his bags down in Sean's apartment.

And he sees Sean tense, the smile fading from his face.

"About what?" Sean asks.

"I think we should sit down," Viggo says.

"And I think I'd prefer to stand," Sean replies.

"Fine."

"So what do we need to talk about?"

"I have to tell you something," Viggo says, softly. "I don't know how to tell you but I have to find a way if we're going to have any chance of making a real go with each other."

"Viggo, you promised," Sean says.

"I know," Viggo says. "And I will keep my promise. I don't think I've broken that promise. But..."

"But what?" Sean says, his voice trembling slightly. "Spit it out."

"I spent my last night in New Zealand with Karl."

Viggo watches as his words sink in. As Sean struggles to make sense of them.

"You slept with Karl," he says and it's not really a question.

Viggo nods.

"But I guess sleeping wouldn't really be the operative word would it," Sean says bitterly. "What did you do, Viggo?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I want to know the nasty details," Sean says. "What did you and Karl do?"

Viggo lowers his eyes. "Everything. Everything he offered me and more."

"And was it worth it?" Sean asks. "Was it everything you thought it would be?"

"Yes," Viggo says. And once again, it's the truth even if it's not what Sean wants to hear.

"Yes," Sean repeats to himself. "Christ. I can't believe you did this, Viggo. Not after everything he put us through. After what he did to Orli, to Elijah, what he did to us. After I told him I'd kill him if he touched you again."

"I--"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it," Sean says.

Viggo falls silent.

Sean's pacing back and forth along the kitchen counter. Suddenly stops.

"Where?" he asks.

"Where what?"

"Where did you fuck him, Viggo?" Sean says.

Viggo looks away. Your place. My place. Both answers are so very wrong. And there's not a right one to be found.

"At the house."

"My house."

"Yes."

"In our bed?"

And again. "Yes."

"Just let me get this straight. You fucked Karl in our bed in my house."

Viggo nods.

"Get the fuck out, Viggo," Sean says.

And Viggo can't argue. Has no right to argue. Picks up his bags, takes one last look at Sean staring at the wall, his back turned to the door, and exits, closing the door behind him.

***

Sean's sitting on the couch, glass of scotch in one hand, box of kleenex beside him. He feels pathetic. Disgusted with himself. A grown man and he's crying over a broken heart like some twelve year old girl.

The phone rings but he can't bring himself to pick it up. Lets the machine answer and hears Viggo's voice.

"Sean, it's me. I'm at the Strand. In case you need to get in touch. I... I just wanted to let you know I love you. It probably doesn't seem like it, given what I've done, but I needed to finish things with Karl. Being with him was like some weird sort of exorcism for all the darkness that's been plaguing me all these months. It's all gone though, Sean. It worked for whatever that's worth. And I never broke my promise to you. I won't break my promise to you if you decide to give me another chance. Karl told me he wouldn't tell you, that I could keep what we did a secret. But I couldn't do that. I had to be honest with you. And I swear to God, Sean, if we can get past this, there will never be anyone else again. Ever. I don't know what else to say. I don't know if it matters but I didn't kiss him. We didn't even sleep together. We went to sleep in the same bed but we were on opposite sides of the mattress. It was just sex. Nothing more. And I'm not sure it was even that. It was about violence and power and control. None of which have anything to do with us. I love you, Sean. I'm so sorry I fucked this up."

Sean hears the phone click. Tears welling again. Rubs his eyes, downs his drink and goes to the kitchen for the rest of the scotch.

***

He doesn't call Viggo the next day or even the day after that. Erases the messages from his machine without listening to them. Not wanting to chance hearing his voice.

***

Hair wet, towel wrapped around his hips, Sean's trying to pour a cup of coffee, locate his wallet and call his agent all at the same time. He's just hung up on his agent's voice mail when he hears a knock at the door. Peaks through the peephole.

And it's Viggo.

Sean considers not answering it. But finds himself opening the door.

"What do you want?" he asks gruffly.

"I'm going to change my ticket. Fly home this afternoon," Viggo says. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Fine, then, you've said it," he goes to close the door.

"Sean?"

"What?"

"I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that," Viggo says and Sean can see the tears welling in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I really am."

Sean nods. Viggo nods back.

"I guess I'll see you around," he says.

Sean nods again.

Viggo gives a kind of half-wave and heads down the hall. He's at the elevators, having pushed the button when he hears

"Wait."

And he turns to see Sean standing outside his door.

"Promise me," Sean says.

And Viggo walks back down the hall, towards Sean, his heart beating so hard he thinks it will burst. He reaches the door and they stand there, staring at each other.

"Promise me," Sean says. "I need you to promise me."

And Viggo does.


End file.
